What It's Like
by cattkid123
Summary: This is a story focused on Imogen that it stays true to the show and the events that occur. Lots of Fiona based thoughts.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story. Just had some ideas floating around in my head. General Fimogen drabble. I do not know whether or not its good. But I hope you enjoy!**

"You're like a boring details genius"

I laughed because it could not be more true. Fiona was very into planning and would obsess over the smallest details. It was nice because without her things would not go as smoothly.

Fi and I were certainly opposites. But that's what I liked about her. What I liked about us. We could spend hours just talking and figuring out new things about each other. It never got old.

I realized that we really met at perfect times in our lives. I knew all about Fiona's past. All about the abuse with Bobby that tore her up inside and led her to coping with alcohol. I knew about her struggle with her crush on Holly J and dealing with the realization she was a lesbian. I heard many of her previous over seas adventures and was amazed with all the things she had experienced.

I always think about what if we had met earlier? Things certainly would not have worked out this well for this long. I also had a rough patch previously at Degrassi. It was never easy for me to fit in and I started having an obsession with my now best friend, Eli Goldsworthy.

Previous mean girl Fiona and I would not have meshed well then. She has been humbled a lot previously and I do not think back then she would have appreciated my quirks like she does now. It's funny how life works like that.

"We must be soulmates"

I said this line to her when we were still just friends but looking back I was feeling something more than that. It is true. Matching up perfectly with this time in our lives after both moving all over. It was fate that brought us together. It was fate that gave me the strength to admit to myself that those feelings I was having for my best friend were more than platonic. It gave Fiona and I the strength to get through these past years events. Together.

We had our fair share of bumps. Like when she was clinging to my mom and I was too angry to notice the true meaning behind it all. But we always came out on the other side stronger than we had been. There's no one else I would like to be with for my first ever serious relationship.

I know this is the most serious relationship she has ever been in too. A lot of stuff we are both figuring out together. I was scared coming into this. But I realized I do not have to have all the answers right now. What I know is we are enjoying our time together now and there is no one else I would want to spend all this time with.

We just meshed. Non-expectantly. It was better than I ever imagined it would be. I loved how drama free we could be together after a crazy previous year. It kept me stable. I really did care about Fiona more than anyone.

Just spending time in Fiona's apartment were the hi-lights of my whole high school experience. Sometimes I wonder if she even knows how happy she makes me. I try to tell her but it never truly conveys what I feel. I like having no pressure and the fact that she lets this relationship move at the pace that I want.

I know she gets a little eager sometimes when things get a little heated but she always tries to play it off and pretend she does not mind. It's cute. I know she would go to great lengths to make me feel comfortable and happy.

I try and help her with all the stresses in her life as well. Although I have never had the opportunity to meet any of her family face to face, the video chats have been pleasant. Declan looked like he was sizing me up the first time and it made me pretty nervous and stuttery but when Fi grabbed my hand off camera I could not help but relax. The other handful of times have been lighthearted and I know it makes Fiona feel better that I am with her even when her family is so far away.

I wonder if she even knows how strong she is. I admire her and all the obstacles she has gotten through. Battling alcoholism and a past abusive relationship at eighteen cannot be easy. I know she has had a relapse before but I hope she never has one again.

Sometimes I wonder how long we are going to be in each other's lives but it is a subject neither of us likes to touch. After graduation we do not know where our paths will take us but I am sure as long as they cross we will be together.

For now I am just enjoying the company of the very best friend I have ever had. I realize I could not be luckier that my best friend and girlfriend are the same person.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, thanks to anyone who favorited/reviewed/read the first chapter of this story. I am going to try and keep updating as inspiration strikes. So enjoy!**

I remember starting this senior year when Fi and I got off on the wrong foot. Both of us wanting a friend or to fit in, both in different ways. I did not want to sacrifice who I was just to be "popular" and after years of being a loner that's exactly what Fiona wanted.

I thought I would never forgive her after she tried to buy my silence with breakfast during my suspension. After coming down from my Eli obsession I realized she was cool and being friends with her would be fun. I felt like a fool after I got caught. But the fact that it brought us together and made us even closer makes me happy.

The freak and the brat. Who would have ever thought they would end up dating.

Figuring out my feelings for Fiona was a slow and difficult process that culminated with our kiss at the top of the Ferris wheel. I struggled with realizing what the funny feeling in the pit of my stomach meant every time we touched. Or the fact that the lingering hugs felt pleasant more than awkward. And sometimes I would make up excuses just to touch her and make it come off friendly more than anything. I could not help myself. I was drawn in.

When she had set Eli and I up I did not know what to think. The boy I had desired last year finally wanted me back…but it just did not feel good. I thought she was trying to pawn me off on someone else. That could not have been more wrong.

I just made up more excuses to spend time at her loft, making girl talk about these problems with Eli.

"I feel comfortable telling you anything"

I remember saying it and then asking if that was wrong. She assured me it was not. And it felt too good to not believe her. The idea of Eli ending up being way better than reality. I could not help but want just to talk to Fiona about anything rather than spend a bit of my time with Eli.

After the break-up I was relieved, and I turned up what was my idea of friendly flirting with Fiona just to see how she reacted. Things seemed to be going well but I could not help the lingering feeling of inadequacy that even if Fiona was into girl, she would never go for someone like me. I had seen a picture of her ex-girlfriend Charlie and Holly J of course. I could never be that.

Of course all my worrying ended up being in vain and she told me she had liked me since the beginning of the year. I felt on top of the world. I had never felt so many things when kissing someone. It was truly electric.

I have definitely gotten more comfortable with the whole intimacy part of our relationship. The beginning of the semester I said no kissing in front of the jocks. But fast forward a few months and we do not care who sees. We will act sickly sweet at Fi's locker in front of even Dallas if that is what we are feeling.

I remember how scared I was for Fiona to meet my dad at first. I could not help but feel inferior especially after all her stories of her extravagant previous lifestyle. I could never measure up to that. My dad and I together were beyond silly, and it's always been that way. I was not sure how she would react.

The meeting ended up going south for different reasons. Namely Volta. The decline in my father's health made me bitter and I lashed out at Fi who was trying to be there for me. I insulted her life and only being raised by nannies. When I saw how she had helped design my set, my heart actually swelled. It had to be the nicest thing anyone has ever down for me.

I realized that Fiona really did get me. She understood how much a set could mean to me and was willing to be a rock for me even when her home life was crazy. She really is one of the deep down nicest people I have ever met. So willing to be there for me in the midst of anything.

My feelings have never been so deep for anyone outside of my own father. We will always have a part of each other and that's for sure. I have never wanted to be with anyone at all times like I do with Fiona.

"You're kinda my hero"

I have not said anything more true than this before. Fiona is someone I will always aspire to be as strong as.


	3. Chapter 3

**I did mean to post this sooner. I was slowly working on parts of it. I hope anyone reading this enjoys the updates. I will keep it up as more ideas come to mind.**

"I told myself I deserved better. Maybe one day, I'll believe it"

When I told Bianca this last year I truly did not believe it. Eli had used and abused me in his manic state. I did feel broken at the time it all happened. When you put all your energy into something or want something so bad, especially another person, and fail, it can be very hard to get over.

I was so captivated and obsessed with him it's amusing to think about. I saw him as this ultimate goal that would change the quality of my life if only we could date. He treated me so horribly though I did not think I would ever get over it. Eli returning to his real self did offer a heartfelt apology, and now that we realized our true potential as friends I could not be happier about our relationship.

Fiona really did make me believe that I deserved better. Even when we were technically just friends she was always sweet and sincere with me. Our connection was one I always dreamed about having in a best friend since I was little. Our sleepovers, movie nights, and times of deep sharing were perfect in every way.

She is the better I deserved. I hope I am that person for her as well. If anyone has had a rockier start to his or her love life, it's definitely Fi. I think that's why we can appreciate each other so absolutely. It's the little things that make me so happy with our relationship.

Fiona had gotten in the habit of watching our WhisperHug practices recently. I really enjoyed having her there and being a bit of a groupie. It brought out my emotion in some of the more lovey-dovey songs.

When I sing to her I can tell she really enjoys it. She beams her brilliant smiles and if I sing right at her she sometimes becomes bashful. It's cute.

The sound of Fi's laugh is like music to my ears. I find myself doing things that are purposely goofy just to get a reaction out of her. I know sometimes she needs a bit of light-hearted fun between her family life and managing student council.

She does the same for me. I know Fiona was a bit of an ice queen in the past but I never detect a hint of that when we are together. If my dad's dementia is especially bad one day, I see her go to great lengths to cheer me up.

She has no problem being silly with me. It was not too long ago that we built a kick butt fort when I came over trying to mask my sadness.

My dad had a bad spell and after the nurse took care of him he started crying. I could not bear to look at the scene myself so I had to escape to Casa Coyne.

Without hesitation she sensed something was wrong, but instead of talking it out like we sometimes do, she jumped straight to one of the most childish and fun things we could do.

I laughed so hard that evening and had more carefree fun than I had in a very long time. In a moment of comfortable silence she just took my hand, kissed me on my temple and told me she would always be here for me and it will be okay.

That made my tears well up a little bit. I kissed her back and then started a pillow fight to end all pillow fights. Tears did end up streaming down my face, but for a completely different reason.

It's moments like those that make me realize I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have a girlfriend that gets me completely and is not afraid to be silly with me despite an exceptionally snooty upbringing.

I like to think we both learn very important things from each other. Fiona teaches me how to be more mature and grown up about certain things because she is wise beyond her years due to all the tragedy she has been through.

At the same time I get her to loosen up and not care as much about what people thing of her in a social sense. It is a nice balance. A nice give and take.

I know whatever the future brings Fiona will always be with me in some sense.


	4. Chapter 4

**Looks like next week there will be a legitimate Fiona plot and hopefully some Fimogen interaction. Hope anyone reading this enjoys and thanks for any reviews, favorites, or follows. **

The thought of graduating in less than a couple of months is an awfully scary thought. I try to stay strong about the matter however because I can very clearly see Fiona's eyes tear up anytime the matter is brought up. I usually send her a smile or grab her hand if I can see her getting emotional.

She always smiles back, genuinely, but I can tell it is something that will make her sad until it happens. After that she will be sad that it's real and that we will all be parting ways with Degrassi.

When we watched the video yearbook with student council and others I could see her eyes getting glassy so I tried to keep it light-hearted, as I do. I had her laughing with my rock star impression and looking at me lovingly when the two of us acting all coupley popped up.

It makes me sad that our lives are going to change completely after graduation. I do not want anything to change. I want to stay in these coming weeks forever with my friends and my favorite girlfriend. Everything is so fun right now, but there is this sense of imminent doom that I just cannot get out of my head.

Just the thought of leaving Fi's side, not being with her the majority of every day breaks my heart. I can honestly say we get closer each day, and my love for her only grows with time. Our separation will only be more difficult to deal with if this continues.

I have gotten so used to having her there I do not know how either of us are going to compensate for the loss. I know we will never truly leave each other's lives, but I cannot say definitely what will happen in the future. If I could have my way right now I would marry Fiona and we would have kids and live happily ever after.

But after many recent reality checks who knows if the future will turn out like this. There is nothing I want more at the moment but it scares me to think that could change, I could change, even Fiona could change.

I get a little bit of anxiety when my head gets filled with these kinds of thoughts. I hate change. More than almost anyone. If I could press the pause button on life I would in a second.

I know we have phones and computers and all this other technology but I will miss her face anytime it's not in front of me in real life. I cannot believe how far we have come from not even being friends to the thought of not being together always scaring the crap out of us.

She has changed my life and that's for sure. If I have future girlfriends they will have to be something special to even hold a candle to my first love.

I want to say we will never break-up but I do not know if that's for the best. The saying is if you love someone let them go and if they come back then they are yours but if they do not then they never were. I know deep down in my heart this is true and the best way to go about these years apart.

It is one thing to say that you are going to have a long-distance relationship, but another completely to make it work. I feel that they usually end in resentment and a loss of trust when you try to hold on to something that is not meant to be. I do not want that to be us though. Ending up hating each other's guts, which is so not worth it.

I think it is better to be our true best friend selves, with no rules and hopefully destiny will lead us back to each other. It has worked before, I mean we are soulmates. We will go, live our lives, meet new and interesting people that will be great in different ways. If after all that we still feel the same, nothing would make me happier.

We do not want to suffocate each other and this way we can prove for sure that we are the best people for each other and are meant to be. This is the only way though. It is going to be hard at first but hopefully it gets easier to a point where both my head and heart can agree this is for the best and then when we want to spend the rest of our lives together we can know its legitimate on every level.

But we are going to make the most of the time we have left right now and our bond is only going to get stronger. I know even if we take breaks or cannot be together we will always love one another deeply.


	5. Chapter 5

**I've been trying to formulate some ideas to make a chapter of the current events on Degrassi but have just been putting it off. So here is some new stuff. Hope you enjoy!**

Fiones managed to give me one of the greatest scares of my life the night her loft got broken into. I was so shocked when I heard what had happened. After everything that she had been through and all her issues with being alone, I knew it would not be good.

I was so worried for her. I rushed over to her place as soon as I heard so I could check on her. She was in shock and frustrated at herself especially for the whole twitter fiasco. I tried to calm her down as best I could, but truth be told I was just as shaken as her after witnessing the condition of her home.

Someone had obviously been in there for a solid amount of time. Enough to scavenge through every room and wreck many of her pieces of furnishings. She was so lucky that she got off like she did. That the horrible man only pointed a gun at her and made her count as he ran away.

I worked myself into a bit of a tizzy as my mind went to dark places of all the possibilities that might have occurred in a worst-case scenario. I hugged Fi and did not want to let her go in fear of what could happen.

After she calmed down about some of her things missing and told me to never leave I had officially lost it. On the inside at least. The last thing I wanted to do was be a drama queen when I was not even the one to experience this terrible event.

I could not articulate the thoughts I was thinking in the moment so I simply kissed my vulnerable girlfriend on the head in a reveal of comfort and love. I felt helpless as to what I was supposed to do in this situation.

I felt stupid for feeling so emotional when it was Fi who I should be helping, in some way. I just held her for a little longer and wanted to stay this way, but there were more serious things to handle at the moment.

Fiona started to cry and talk about how scared and weak she feels now, how horrifying seeing the gun was to her. I tried to talk her down and say she will get through this, we both will. None of it was her fault even if she wanted to blame twitter at the moment.

Some psycho had made the decision to break in and rob her, twitter or no twitter. It could happen to anyone.

I did not want to leave her alone and I knew Natalie would not let me stay here, especially after this recent event. I decided to call and ask if she would let Fiona please stay over because of the current circumstances. She agreed, but made it clear we would sleep in different rooms.

The idea was a bit of a drag, but better than nothing. At least I could be sure that Fi would be safe this way.

I stayed in my stepsister's room while Fiona took mine. Even though she was still shaken up she let her true personality shine through as she grimaced at all the zombie paraphernalia covering my room for Eli's movie. I hid most of it, trying to be considerate and keep her from being further traumatized tonight.

I stayed with her somewhat late until I felt she would be okay and comforted enough to fall asleep. I told her to yell if she needed me and I would be there in an instant. Natalie was of course awake and watching until I walked into my sister's room to sleep and closed the door.

The night thankfully passed without incident and I snuck into my room as soon as I woke up to see if Fi was really all right. She was sleeping like an adorable baby all curled up in my bed and wrapped in one of my sweaters she must have found lying around. The exhausting night must have really gotten to her.

I hopped into bed and cuddled with her and she smiled immediately, waking up. We just lied there and she admitted she felt a lot safer now that she left her loft but she would have to go back eventually. She was still scared for that.

I threw out some suggestions like a security system or a camera but I knew it would not be the same. Her loft must feel less like a home and safe haven forever now. I assured her I would stay with her as late as I could but we need to figure something else out.

I heard the noise level increase as the little devils woke up and ran around on a Saturday morning cereal and cartoon high. They had really started to grow on me even if at first I thought they would not. Having a brother and a sister for the first time in my life was new and never boring.

They were still young enough to be cute and innocent and liked to follow me around and pester me out of interest. I realized they had never met Fiones and wanted to introduce them to each other. I was not sure how she was with kids to be honest. Sure she was very caring and sweet, but sometimes she did not like to let that part show. On top of that, I bet old spoiled Fiona would have called them snotty rugrats and stayed away from them for that.

Either way I figured they should get to know each other, and maybe it would make Fi feel a little better. I know they can cheer me up even when I do not want to just because they are so cute and sincerely sweet.

We went out into the living room where they were sprawled on the couch, and they looked up in interest staring at Fiones in pure interest. They asked some embarrassing questions and said things that made me sound like she was all I talked about, but it was all in good fun.

They took to each other pretty well and it definitely helped Fi forget about her worries for the moment. What happened was terrible, but she would get through it. We would get through it and her getting along with my new family was a nice new addition to this relationship.


	6. Chapter 6

**Had to make another update after all the Fimogen interaction in the last episode. Hope you all enjoy! Thanks for any follows, alerts, and reviews!**

Fiona was feeling helpless because she was scared and felt unsafe in her own home. I was lost because while trying to be there for her I also had to be there for Eli's zombie movie because I was helping with design, make-up, and other miscellaneous tasks that someone needed to do. I felt I was being pulled every which way and I did not know if I was doing either job justice.

I slept over Fiona's for a few nights after I begged, bargained, and plead with Natalie to please let me. We promised no funny business, which was pretty accurate considering the circumstances. After the tearful testimony from Fiona where she pleaded to my mom that she could not be alone just yet, I knew she would cave.

The nights started off pretty standard after we got ready for bed we would get comfortable and cuddle. But Fiones was having nightmares and I was not sure how to make her feel better. I would just hold her until her sobs subsided and she fell back asleep, only to repeat the process multiple times throughout the night.

I was telling my mom everything and asking for any advice she could give to help, she just told me to be there. So I tried. Sleep deprived and over-worked I tried everything to be there for my troubled girlfriend because she deserved it. Mostly I tried to make her laugh and lighten the mood, make her forget about her problems. It usually worked until she was left alone with her thoughts.

When my caretaker called to tell me that she would not be able to stay over at my dad's house I knew I had to be there for him. Even if it was while Fi was under duress, he needed me more. The best I could do was hope she would be okay and get her a robotic watchdog.

I left my laptop with her in hopes she could pass some alone time on it or talk to her mom on Skype if she needed. I wanted her to tell her mom the truth but I knew she would not do that until she wanted. She told me after years of feeling like a burden for years the last thing she wanted was her parents worrying about her when they had a bigger problem at hand. I knew her parent's would see their daughter's safety as the most important thing but there was no way to convince my stubborn girlfriend without prodding and effectively pissing her off. So I laid off.

I worried about her as I spent the night with my dad, but I knew if she really needed me, she would call. My dad woke up twice, and started making racket, once in the kitchen and the other in the study. I had to calm him down and use various tricks to get him back to bed. I slept listlessly, trying to keep my ears open for any kind of noise that would tell me he was up and having an episode.

I remembered why I stayed primarily at Natalie's nowadays. Dealing with dad was mentally and physically exhausting. I loved spending time with him during the day, but he had an episode he was not really dad. He would turn cold and disconnect and I would just get emotional and wish it would stop happening. The caretaker was good with him though and I knew he was being properly watched. But when he was himself we had the best times and he could be so lucid that it made the spells seem even worse. I put these feelings to the backburner so I could deal with things like the zombie movie and Fi's anxiety.

I grew concerned as I did not see her the whole next morning and called multiple times to only get her answering machine. I was relieved when I finally saw her face coming to visit the set. It was short-lived relief however; my breath caught in my throat a little when she told me that she went shooting and wanted a gun. The last thing she needed was a gun that would probably end up hurting herself or a visitor with by accident.

Our discussion was cut short when Eli needed me for something and Fi left in a huff thinking that I was too busy for her. I am never too busy for her but the timing of everything is just so crazy right now and I have certain obligations and responsibilities that I cannot just drop.

That night she seemed to drop off the planet again. I went to make sure she was really okay and not actually mad at me but there was no answer. I added worry on top of my worry. When I told mom the recent update she was surprised about the gun desire but worked out a deal. Fiona could stay with us, at moms or dads if she wanted that. She definitely pitied her, being young and alone with a family so far away, she said she wanted her to be safe just as much as I did.

My heart swelled that my mom would let my girlfriend stay with us to make us all feel better. Not only had Fiona obviously grown on her, but also I was truly seeing the love she treated me with. Our amends were made and there was no more hostility there, I was happy to have a healthy relationship with her finally. I hugged her and told her I loved her. I think I surprised her but she seemed happy enough when she repeated the sentiment.

I was shocked to see the condition Fiones was in the next day at school. My heart was in my throat as I got a better look at her. Her face was badly bruised and she had a black eye. I touched her gingerly to get a feeling just how bad she was beat up. My heart broke a little as she tried in vain to lie to me at first. When her demeanor finally changed and she told me the truth I was alarmed but I was never mad like she thought I would be.

Honestly, I was just scared and worried about her. Worried she took such extreme measures without really talking to me. Worried she went so far as to try and illegally get a gun. Worried she did not trust me to tell the truth or tell me her whereabouts in case something even worse happened. All I ever wanted, all I will ever want for her is the best.

At least she was okay now. Hopefully she will never do something so unintelligent again and use some common sense. When she opened up to tell me how scared she was of being alone, which we never discussed at length, it made sense.

I felt elated when she told me this was the best year of her life before I felt exactly the same. It was nice of her to tell me I was the best girlfriend ever and get some credit for these strenuous past few days. I would do anything to make her happy and her appreciation made my heart swell a bit.

I was so proud when she stated that she would stay at her condo and learn to deal. Because all this personal growth she was exhibiting made me love her even more. She was working through these problems, hopefully now in a healthier way, but she was always trying. The revelations she made were big and part of an ongoing problem.

I loved this girl though. Bruises and all. We would both be all right in the long run and find ways to help and be there to support each other. There was still so much in front of us and now that we worked past some issues we could just enjoy being together.


	7. Chapter 7

**My apologies to anyone who is following this story for taking forever to update but I have not had a ton a time. Thanks for any feedback and hope whoever reads enjoys!**

Out of this recent nightmare with Fiona's security and sense of safety there was a bit of a silver lining. She and my mother, along with my stepfamily have never been closer. I have to admit it was pretty nice to have this big-family type normalcy after it just being Dad and me alone for so long.

Fiones was feeling a lot better since the break-in and jumping. She was happier and healthier and we were back on track. I was managing my time better so she would not feel neglected by my projects. Eli's Zombie movie was winding down and soon we would have even more time to spend together.

The fact that Fi could easily get along with the whole bunch now made my Mom's house feel a lot more like home. I felt comfortable and at ease there finally, not like I was just staying with some random family I had no ties to.

My stepsiblings, Noah and Alyssa, were the cutest kids and we always had a good time. Its no secret I was very in touch with my childish side, and being around them I was free to act as goofy as I wanted and they never judged. They loved when I was silly and it always felt nice to have this unconditional love and acceptance they freely gave me.

Spending time just hanging out and making them laugh was a high point of my day, and it made me feel ridiculous for ever resenting them. I guess I just felt replaced and like my Mom had decided to have a whole new family and forget about me. However, we were all starting to mesh and I felt like I belonged in the picture, there was room for all of us.

The Granger household welcomed Fiones whenever nowadays and it was great to spend all this time together, something I missed out on when younger. I have never felt so accepted, and with her family stuck in New York, I knew she liked the current arrangement as well.

My Mom's new husband, Doug, is a good guy. He was a little shy and nervous at first, having a teenager suddenly thrust into his house, but I think we are getting into a good place with it. He is really trying to build some kind of relationship between us, which I give him props for because I acted purposely difficult at first. I was not the happiest with living in the house when I first arrived but I have warmed up to him. We can now joke around and be comfortable with each other, but at the same time he does not try to parent me.

There is no more walking on eggshells, just one big happy and dysfunctional family. Fiones is a regular dinner guest and there are always a ton of laughs. Mom and Doug are happy that I have someone who is so great and always there for me, Fi recently charmed them, as I knew she would.

After some apprehension, she is now able to play with the kids easily and without awkwardness. Sometimes I see her more snobbish side when they act gross but I am always there to help her get over it and learn to deal. They all warmed up to each other, which was never more evident then when she freely let Alyssa do her hair and makeup.

The princess was usually very particular and I was shocked that she agreed in the first place. The pictures were the most ridiculous things I have ever seen in my life and she chased me around after the fact to delete them. I would never allow that though because I am sure they would never fail to bring a smile to my face. The styling job put her in a state of shock and she went on to teach Lys the proper and pretty way to do hair and makeup.

Fi mumbled that it must run on my Mom's side of the family, which earned her a push and then a play fight that I of course won. After tickling her into submission I got her to admit she loves my hair and makeup all the time. I know it is a bit quirky for her personal taste, but she cannot lie and say she does not love that about me.

Noah had a bit of a crush on my girlfriend. If we ever sit close and cuddle up on the couch to watch TV, he is there to squeeze himself between us, all smiles. I wanted to get mad for taking her away, but his little face was too cute to push away. Talk about being affectionate, he would stop at nothing to please and suck up to her.

She did find it endearing and played along with him, as to not squash all his hope. I could not blame him; I guess we had the same taste in girls. She was really fantastic with them when it would be easy to shoo them away, which I appreciated like no other and would not hesitate to show her.

Family times were as abundant at the Granger's as passionate times were at her empty loft. We were going strong in all aspects of our relationship and it really just kept getting better. The future is looking bright even after all the bad times that had recently taken place. We were learning to grow and move on together, only making our bond stronger.


	8. Chapter 8

**Well I have not updated in forever but I was lacking any ideas to work with. The graduation special definitely changed that though. Lots of Fimogen and an ending that does make sense in the long run. Anyway, hope anyone reading enjoys!**

That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But it was for the best. I love Fiona with all my heart and no matter what she will always be my first love. Because I love her so much it was only right to let her go and be the successful and traveling fashionista she always dreamed of being.

My dreams would be too tame for her. The thought of design school in Toronto sounded wonderful to me. Fiones would have gotten sick of it eventually. Or worse, she would have simply settled just because she loves me. I would never want to hold back someone with so much potential, she deserves better than that.

I am glad it ended as nicely as it did. There was no resentment or anger. Just truth. Our last kiss will be one that I remember forever, that's for sure. All the events from last night seem like a big blur. I went through such a surge of so many intense emotions that I just feel a little overwhelmed.

I scared myself for a bit there when I started acting like I had back in my Eli-obsessed days of grade 11. What I did was so terribly wrong, I am only glad that I was able to make it up to my wonderful girlfriend. I just felt the walls closing in when Mrs. Coyne told Fi of the incredible opportunity. I was being too selfish to see how great it was and how much she would prosper. I almost ruined her future.

I guess my groveling convinced Mr. Hotshot Fashion Designer, but everything I said was absolutely truthful. Everyone does deserve a Fiona. She is the most wonderful, most loving, most caring, most understanding, and most supportive type of person. Anyone would be happy to have her. I could not keep her all to myself when she deserves to get out there.

The talking we did in her loft before graduation sounded great at first. Then reality set in. Travelling the world with my beautiful, famous, and rich girlfriend without a care in the world. But that's not me. I have my dad to worry about. And what about the nights in that I love? That life would be too adventurous, too overwhelming. When I was a kid we moved around a bunch and I hated it. I struggled with making friends and getting comfortable. Degrassi changed that. I do not want to feel that way ever again.

If Fiona were content with staying in Toronto and just being typical with me, we would work out better than any couple ever has. But that's not the case. And all my wishing and hoping will never make it so. The way things are though, there's no alternative that will not hurt us both down the road.

I hope we stay in touch. Catch up in the future. For right now though, I think we both need some space so we can do what we are supposed to do, and what we are destined to do. There's no reason to make this split even harder by just teasing myself with what I cannot have.

As I sit on my bed at moms house crying my eyes out I try to shove all the negative thoughts out of my head. Maybe flunking and having to repeat senior year will not be that bad. I will be alone without Eli and Fiona and will have to stand on my own in a smaller setting before university. Look at all that Fiones did. She prospered and made the most of it. My valedictorian.

Maybe I can harness all her strength and follow in her footsteps in this respect. I was just stupid. Not turning in my work because of my dad and mom and I just wanted to be with Fi as much as I could. I could have passed. I considered myself fairly intelligent. But that's in the past now.

Now if I had to go to the design school I thought I was going to with my girlfriend, and then this Rome opportunity for her arrived, then I would be a real mess. This extra year at Degrassi will teach me how to be more independent hopefully. Independent in a safe and familiar setting, kind of like training wheels. I will learn how to make it through without having someone there.

Fiona's speech really did inspire me and was the catalyst that made me realize what I had to do. I am so proud of her though. She used to be the person who could not be alone and now look at her. Simply amazing. She turned her life around and is beginning to live what she always dreamed of.

I am trying to not be afraid of this change. But the best thing to do is to just do it. Live my life, not dwell on what could have been. It is pretty ironic how I am mirroring Fiona's predicament from last year, for as much as we are different we also have a bunch in common.

I like to think we made the mature decision that we can be proud of looking back. For right now though, it really does suck. I guess that is what being an adult is sometimes. Doing things you do not want to because you know it will pay off in the end and can lead to long-term success.

Fiones and I really were good for each other. She still is my hero and who I look up to because she took terrible circumstances and made the best for herself. That is why I love her. I am glad I finally got to say how I have been feeling before we broke up.

Doing the right thing is so hard sometimes. I just hope it pays off in the end for the both and us and then I will have proof that this had to happen.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello! I apologize for being so bad with the updating to anyone who is following this story but I was at a loss for what to write about exactly. I will continue this story from Imogen's perspective and her feelings during the current season. Hope it does not totally suck and whoever reads it enjoys. Anything type of feedback is appreciated!**

She was lonely. So terribly lonely. All the insecurities she had somewhat recently helped her girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, overcome were now threatening her own well-being. She forgot what it was like to be alone. She had been dating Fiones for 6 months, 3 weeks and 4 days and always had someone there for her. Even before they started dating they were best friends who were attached at the hip.

It was almost too nice having someone always there to keep her company, she must have gotten a bit spoiled. Whenever she had any type of trouble or worry she would call or visit Fi in a heartbeat. It was the best feeling knowing you were someone's number one priority and that they would be there for you whenever. It worked both ways too.

So life without the wonderful Fiona Coyne had been beyond rough. The future fashionista had already left for Italy and it was not like she could just call her up now. To make matters worse even Eli was away working on a movie. Left friendless for the first time in about a year was a shock to her system. Throw in her father's declining mental state and she was not in the best place currently.

Her mom was even being unhelpfully nice and forgiving which only creeped Imogen out some. She did not want to feel so pitied. She was mad, and sad, and hurt, and lonely. She had seen a job opportunity for a summer camp at Degrassi and figured it would be a good way to get out of the house and hangout with kids, whose company was always so much better than anybody else's.

So she arrived at Degrassi with low expectations and looked around at her fellow counselors. Drew, Dallas, and Adam. Oh Adam, he was a good guy. Always nice to her and friendly during Whisper hug practices and events. But way to bring her mind back to Fiona with this group of boys. An ex-roommate, the jerk that crushed and made advances on her, and her ex-boyfriend. Jeez, so much for escaping her memory.

At least Adam was before her time though. And her friends Drew and Dallas were gross boys who would always be Fiones' friends more than hers. Her and Dallas never even really had a truce, they hardly acknowledged each other after the Ice Hounds dance. That was an issue she gave Fi her space with and did not care to intrude on whatever relationship they shared after seeing it was just platonic.

She and Drew were friendly though. She, Fi, Drew, and Bianca would double date and hang out pretty frequently. They were a lot of fun to be around actually. But she could not help but feel that Fiona was the glue that held them together, and without her by Imogen's side she did not know how to act with him.

Anyways too many painful memories. But Adam, she could work with Adam. Barging her way over she began conversing with the sullen boy but it was not long before he had to bring up Fiones of course. He seemed shocked that they had broken up, as anyone she had broken the news to did as well. But she put her game face on anyway.

Well she cannot keep thinking about what is over. What may never be again without some real luck and the aligning of the stars. She offered to help Adam with Becky to try and get him to trust her so they could be real friends. After feigning her sprained ankle at the concert and getting Becky alone, she made the younger girl have a bit of a freak-out.

She completely understood where Eli came from now. Imogen thought she might be able to get along with a bubbly and friendly girl, as she is quite lively herself, but scratch that. Becky was very possessive and territorial. Well, now that that friendship seems out of question she might as well have some fun with her.

After trying to test if she would be loyal to Adam, she angered her by saying it would be hard with them so far away and with her surrounded by many boys. Proclaiming to like people and being open-minded was the straw that broke the camel's back and Becky shot back. She sure marked her territory after passionately kissing Adam and taking him somewhere private. Just to leave her alone, again.

Imogen regrouped at home and decided to give Becky a run for her money. She was single and could at least have some fun. When she saw the couple kissing she ran up to Adam and kissed him from behind pretending to not notice he was busy. The way the Florida bound girl glared at her made her want to crack up. _So_ jealous. That would surely only be made worse by this long distance relationship.

When the kids came it really made her happy. Kids are just so carefree and honest. They are what she aspires to be like. Adults could be so, to quote Holden Caulfield, phony. It drove her crazy sometimes. So what if she was zany and offbeat, it was _her. _

When Adam told her that Becky did not want them to be friends, it did not really surprise her one bit, but she thought he would not be the type to immediately listen to his girlfriends' orders. Whatever. Maybe she could turn it around. She was far, far away.

Imogen made her anger apparent during a game with the campers when she played the pretending someone is invisible game. It was a little mean. When she was little and the bullies did it to her it made her want to cry. No one likes being ignored. Alone. But when he pushed her then pulled her pigtail it was over. Not cool. Drew broke it up like an overwhelmed parent though and told them they had to work out their differences.

After some apprehension, Adam agreed to be friend. Secret friends that is. She did not want to say it but if Becky was not cool with them being friends, then when she found out they were _secret_ friends, it would cause some legitimate trust issues. But she was not going to tell her only friend that right now. She would be right back to square one.

He did not trust his own self-control she did notice though. No touching he said. Fine by her, but he did not want to even deal with the possibility of being tempted. Maybe this summer would not be so bad. Watching the Adam and Becky relationship might even get her mind completely off of Fiona.

Well it was not exactly working right now, because she still thought of her beautiful ex-girlfriend anytime she was alone. But hopefully soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**It seems I can only update after an episode involving Imogen is aired so that will probably keep up. But other than that I do not have a ton of workable story ideas with the lack of on-screen Fimogen. I might write some other characters if an idea strikes me. But for now thanks for anyone who reads, favorites, comments, or alerts. It means a lot! Enjoy!**

_This_ is why Imogen hated boys. They were just so _so_ stupid sometimes. She had no clue why Adam thought impersonating Becky to get Todd to back off would work. And she had no clue how Drew and Dallas could be so stupid as to go along with the hair-brained scheme. But it was not her relationship.

Sure she did impersonate Fiona once. It could not have gone worse. That's how she learned that it could never be a good idea. Because a one time conversation, in person or online, is never the end of it. Someone is bound to report back that something weird and wrong happened. Honesty is the best policy, even if it's also the hardest.

So this is why she felt so responsible for trying to get Adam to make the right decision despite whether or not she actually wanted him to stay together with nasty Becky. Her and Fiones relationship was not a mistake and she took a lot away from it. Things that she felt she owed to use to help the people around her.

When Adam found her logic faulty after she found him in the camp "penalty" box about honesty not always working in your favor she had no rebuttal. At the same time though, impersonation led to the most pissed off version of Fiona she had ever laid her eyes on. And it was not good. Or worth it. But hot in a totally inappropriate way.

Obviously Fi had not broken up with her, but no need to pick at straws when she was _supposed_ to be trying to move on. No more nit-picking details. No one has to know how she still felt about the older girl. That would be desperate, especially after it was really she who initiated the final break up.

So she is going to keep acting her usually bubbly self because why should things not be okay?

Well at least she really is making friends despite her earlier impressions of Drew and Dallas namely. Yeah they are doofs, but they are also really good people deep down. Which is what counts. More and more each day Imogen found herself goofing off with them after camp. And it just felt natural. It was great to have these innocent platonic friendships like she had not really had a lot in the past.

She _loathed_ Dallas when he had Fi's attention but now that that competition was out of sight, she really had no other reason to hate this less judgmental and homophobic guy. When he was not with his hockey friends he truly was a decent guy. But she supposed he also had to grow up a lot in the past few months with all the tragedies and his newfound daddy responsibility she learned. Plus he seemed to want to settle down in a sense. Dallas had no summer flings to her knowledge and appeared to still be pursuing Alli who was not giving him the time of day. Poor guy.

Drew on the other hand was 100% more mature than the guy who first moved in with Fi. He took his camp director position seriously and was quick to call out any of his workers if they stepped out of line, even his brother. After camp though, he was still a loveable and slightly unthinking goofball. But that was okay. Refreshing even. He knew when he had to be serious and responsible, but once he was out of that bind he acted like your typical 12-year-old boy.

They really all did help to get her mind off her self-inflicted heartbreak. Adam especially. She had developed a bit of a crush on the boy. He was the sweetest and most even tempered of the bunch. Could act as big a nerd as she and was never embarrassed by eccentric ways. Obviously she noticed that his romantic issues did seem to be a major Achilles Heel for him though. He did not seem especially competent dealing with setbacks or getting used to jealousy, but she figured that made sense for the lack of experience he had with serious relationships.

It was a little endearing. Until he crossed the line of personal space that is however. That move made him look desperate in her eyes and less attractive. But just like after the first few days of camp when he tried to stay away from her, she was sure he would make up for this as well. He did need her help right now she figured.

Poor Clare had cancer and Eli was by her side, the boy would probably not bother to burden them with his romantic mishaps. He would most likely come to her she figured. Which she was more than okay with! It helped her feel needed and important, gave her a purpose. Imogen would happily help anyone who asked her nicely and to share her slight romantic proficiency she gained through her relationship with Fiona would be a pleasure.

She would not mind if Adam became more than a friend to her, but at this point she just really wanted to help his somewhat pathetic self. More than anything she wanted him to be happy despite her own feelings. But if him and Becky ended…who knows. It would be nice to truly get her mind off her missed ex. She would not deny an opportunity because she loved his personality when he was not being affected by green-eyed monster.

Only time would tell for now. She was content being best friends for now because she needed friends first and foremost. She needed to prevent the urge to call Fiona in Europe from becoming reality. As much as she wanted to hear her voice it was too soon and they both needed to learn to live on their own. They could not be each other's crutches anymore. But it would be so great if she could even just settle for a Fiona-like best friend. Like their relationship pre-frostival.

Same type of bond minus the heated make-out sessions—which clearly made it inferior—but like she said, she would settle. The void that was in Imogen's heart was slightly being filled with her three new goofy guy friends and adorable campers, but something was still missing. She was not unhappy, just not as happy as she knew she could be. Well hopefully things changed for the better.


End file.
